Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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