She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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