OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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