Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
