Hey man sorry I got all grabby
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize