she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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