woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
