WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
