Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
