we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
