at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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