with your own penis?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
