You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I will pee on everything he values.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
