But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
ttyl tear gas
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
