i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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