Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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