Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize