I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
