Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
