You work out of a Hotel?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize