..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
