Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need water and some morals
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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