Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
