cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
