letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
