If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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