I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
