He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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