once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize