turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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