he puts the penis in happiness.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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