If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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