You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
