Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
