OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
