she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
