You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
