So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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