The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
