At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
