sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
