I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
