on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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