Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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