I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
