i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
