Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
