I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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