Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
