There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
