you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
