Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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