I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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