My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize