Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And then he peed in my hair
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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