My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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