kristin has been a bad kristin
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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