she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
