I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
