do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize