Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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