YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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