I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
