i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
