i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Still dying that you shit outside
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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