I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
