Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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