I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
