Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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