Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
